Elegance Handbook

How to Become an Elegant Woman

This post is all about how to become an elegant woman.

Every woman has in her the potential to become an elegant polished woman. So, if you have come to a point in your life where being casual and you want more grace and refined taste in your life, this article is for you!

What are some of the things you need to work on to become an elegant lady?

1. Curate an Elegant Style and Appearance

What you wear affects how you show up and how others treat you. At present, does your style enhance your image or does it work against you?

Here are the key things you can do to enhance your appearance;

  • Have a proper skincare and grooming routine, so that you can have that skin glow
  • Learn what is your style personality, and how you can make it elegant
  • Learn how to dress for your body shape and body variations
  • Wear clothes that fit you well, and that are made of expensive-looking fabrics
  • Wear signature jewelry that matches your skin tone and face shape
  • Curate and wear accessories that make you look chic even on a budget
  • Have a work wardrobe, a social wardrobe, and an athleisure wardrobe

Get started with these two masterclasses that will help you discover your style personality, and how to dress for your body shape.


2. Refine Your Manners and Etiquette

In a world that cares less and less about manners and etiquette, learning proper etiquette and practicing on a daily basis sets you apart. If you were to walk into a fine dining establishment for a C-Suite executive meeting this very minute, how would you know how to conduct yourself? Or will you be intimidated by the cutlery in front of you, and spend most of the time looking at others to see what they are doing? Etiquette and manners can be learned just like any other skill, and you do not need royal blood to master them.

So where to start?

  • You should work on your fine dining skills – these can be applied anywhere; from home to restaurants, to high-power events and situations. Whether continental, American, or Eastern, it’s time to polish up your skills
  • Social etiquette is very important for black tie events, white tie events, and other social events that have a weight to them, and as an elegant woman, these events are key in helping you create and maintain your social network
  • If you are a professional, business etiquette skills come in handy, and they will help you make a lot of money

Use the code “GRACEDM” to get 20% off any of these classes on fine dining, social etiquette or business etiquette by the Kensington School of Manners and Etiquette.

3. Nurture a Feminine and Warm Presence

Your presence, feminine or not, is how you come across to others, and how you make others feel; do people avoid you? Are you afraid of being seen? Are you magnetic? Are you approachable?

When you think of all the elegant women in your life, and those in media and film, you will realize they all have one subtle yet very powerful quality; they embody their feminine essence with ease.

For us women, elegance and femininity are intertwined; embracing your feminine energy enables you to be elegant from the inside out, as opposed to just focusing on outward appearances. Especially when it comes to dating, relationships and also being a spontaneous, joyous person to be around, you need to work on your feminine presence.

At any age, no matter your background or life story, you can always Rediscover, Activate and Embody Your Feminine Energy to Transform Your Relationships. No one is standing in your way but you.

4. Train Yourself to Have Confident and Proper Posture

A well dressed refined feminine lady with bad posture; how would that look? For a woman, confidence is the best accessory. It makes you walk into rooms without making yourself small and gives you the courage to speak your mind.

And when it comes to confidence, posture is your biggest ally. With confident posture, whether you’re walking, eating, or sitting; you send out the message that you are self-assured, and that determines, to a great extent how people treat and respond to you.

Good posture helps enhance graceful movement and elegant gestures and promotes good health, better breathing, and reduced back pain and fatigue. How you walk, sit, stand, etc tell a lot about your state of mind. And this post here, covers the basics on how to improve your posture.

One key area a lot of women struggle with posture is when walking in heels. If this is you, I recommend Sarah Bohdanova’s $97 course on How to Walk in Heels. You will gain the skills you need to create beautiful elegant lines and sexy silhouettes when walking in heels by covering what to do with your legs, feet, hips, and arms so that you master your walk and attain the catwalk posture and poise.

5. Learn How to Speak with Class

To become elegant in your speech, you first need to be aware that while your appearance counts for 55% of first impressions, the way you speak accounts for 38% of your first impression, and only 7% of what you say factors into your first impression. So, while you may not be a runway model, working on your speech – the how and the what, creates a lot of your social capital.

Since it is clear that your speech/manner of talking will make or break you, here are some pointers to help you make your speech more refined and sophisticated;

  • If you often curse, or use foul or vulgar language, start by eliminating those and see just how much of an impact it will have on you and those around you
  • Avoid boasting, bragging, and namedropping as a way of impressing others; it shows you attach your sense of worth to things, people, and places, and that is not the trait of an individual with high self-esteem.
  • Do not ask people you just met, or acquaintances with intrusive details about personal matters on issues such as body image such as  “Is that real hair? Is your nose real?”, money and wealth such as “How much did your handbag cost”, and relationship details such as “When are you going to have a baby?”  Let them volunteer this information if they so wish.

Read these articles for more tips on how to master small talk, and which topics to avoid when networking.

6. Set up a Lifestyle Maintainance Fund

The public secret about leading a rich elegant life is that you need to have resources at your disposal to buy high-quality clothes for a sophisticated look, to easily have time to be in your relaxed feminine energy, to visit and frequent places that other elegant ladies and high-value individuals frequent and much more.

More often than not, having resources boils down to having money, and that is why to become an elegant woman, you also need to level up your money and wealth habits. You also need to work on your money mindset, so that you do not waste your money keeping up with the Joneses, pretending to be rich. You also need to have a lifestyle maintenance fund – this will cater to your beauty treatments, your closet, your appearance and any other thing that you want to have to maintain your elegant lifestyle.

There are many qualities above – such as having refined speech, and a confident posture that do not require money, but to fully immerse yourself into an elegant lifestyle, you need money. Many books have been written about how to become wealthy, and how to maintain your wealth; and here are 10 money and career books that I highly recommend that should help you get a hold of your finances.

7. Upgrade Your Environment (People and Places)

Start by looking around you; is your home elegant? Is your neighborhood or the places you spend most of your time elegant? Are your friends elegant and refined? We become more like the people and places we spend most of our time, and your environment is key to shaping your transformation as an elegant woman.

This post has been all about how to become an elegant woman. It has covered what you need to do to curate an elegant style and appearance, how to refine your manners and etiquette, why you should nurture a feminine and warm experience, how to have a proper and confident posture, how to speak with class, how to level up your finances, and how to upgrade your environment so that you can become an elegant woman!