Elegance Handbook

How to Be More Approachable

“How come no one approaches me anymore?” If that sounds like something you’d say, or your girlfriend would say, you’ll love this post. It’s written for the lady who is not approached often but she wants to meet new people, expand her network and be also date high quality men.

So how can you get approached without cheap tactics? And how can you get the man to get to know you without chasing or pursuing him?

The first step is to realize that your entire body is a communication tool. Whether or not you intend to, at any given moment of your waking life, your body is communicating to the rest of the world about how you are feeling, what you are thinking, and how you see yourself. This is because only 5% of your perceived communication is verbal. The rest of it, 95% is non-verbal. That is why elegance training focuses a lot on your style, your body language, your posture, and how you walk, dine and engage in conversation. Polishing these up helps you show up with confidence in social settings.

So how do you become more approachable?

Be Confident and Feminine

One of the reasons ladies don’t show up with confidence is because of past failures, so you may find that it’s easy to shrink yourself by being bland or by not even showing up to avoid being disappointed again. But it doesn’t have to be that way, because now you’re starting again with more experience & a leveled-up mindset.  As a lady who wants to be cherished and pampered, refining and rediscovering your femininity will make you more magnetic, alluring & confident from the outside in.



Appear approachable; have receptive body language

It is difficult for anyone (man or woman) to approach if you have closed off body language; this could be the resting bitch face, crossed arms, awkward or no eye contact at all.Instead, smile when appropriate, maintain eye contact when you’re interested, don’t cross your arms if not offended & don’t be stiff or snobbish.

Be accessible; make it easy to be approached

If you hang out in groups you might be hurting your chances of being approached. Any normal human will be intimidated to approach a group for fear of ridicule or judgment. Instead, when going out, keep the tribe small. One or two friends will leave enough room for a man to approach if he is interested.

Ditch the business attire & dress attractively

Business attire (like suits) sends the unconscious message that you are there in a professional capacity whether that is the case or not.We are visual beings, and our attire sends a message. Let the attire you wear when socializing say “Hey, I feel beautiful, I love being a woman”. Consider dresses and/or feminine details

Socialize authentically

Do something that you enjoy when socializing, you will be happy doing it, and that makes you more interesting & attractive. Also, if you hang around people who don’t meet your standards, you’ll be offended when approached. If you are in spaces you are yet to be confident in, you will feel intimidated and shy. Strike the balance.

Check Your Prejudices

You may be prejudiced against men, and think meeting one more is but a waste of your time, & this will show in your body language. Or you may have the underlying belief that you are not interesting or you will not be accepted or have body image issues. These prejudices hurt your approach-ability; they make you very self-conscious, and hence less enthusiastic in social settings.

Check the tone of your voice

When meeting new people, unless it is for business, a curt tone is repellent.

Acknowledge their Presence

Are you always on your phone, scrolling and looking down, instead of acknowledging those in your surrounding? Are you always in a rush, focused on the next thing, and not able to smell the roses? Relax & be present.

The idea is to be as approachable as possible when in the right social setting (need ideas on this? Grab the networking guide: How to Meet High-Value Men & Women). (Every relationship, platonic or romantic, starts with a hello or a hi. ) The suggestions in this post are about being your most feminine self beyond the surface level. That said, some of these may apply, others may not, choose what suits your situation and stop being invisible.