I have always been leveling up in some way or other – whether it was academically, or socially, or professionally. However, things took a turn for the better in 2016. Here’s my story.
In 2015, a budding relationship with a high-value man came to a surprising halt. Looking back, I realize was not prepared for someone like him. He treated me well, took me out on amazing dates, and was emotionally available – but I needed to evolve to become a high-value woman myself. (This was despite the fact that I excelled academically and professionally – being book smart is not the same as being life smart.) In the year that followed, life gave me a chance to start my femininity and elegance journey and I took up the challenge.
One day in late 2016, I came home after a day of fieldwork (my profession is civil engineering and so there are field workdays), and I looked at myself in the mirror. The woman who I saw looking back was exhausted, worn out and it seemed like she was always out to prove a point. At that moment, I realized there had to be a better way – there had to be a better way to live that did not center around proving I could do it all on my own, or that I had to prove a point. Whether I was aware or not, my elegance, femininity, and level-up journey began on that day to become a high-value woman.
The first thing that I started changing, and which was easy for me, was my wardrobe. At that time, I wore very casually and most of my wardrobe hid my curvy frame. Not only that, I had very few dresses and skirts. So I started by changing that. Finally, all the years of reading fashion blogs since the start of the decade came to fruition. I bought many different types of dresses and skirts and tops. I felt better about myself at work and socially and others started noticing me in a more alluring light. I also started taking my self-care (beauty, hair, and grooming) more seriously.
In addition to that, my work as a civil engineer involved a lot of meetings, sometimes with high-profile individuals. This pushed me to work on my presence using style, social and dining etiquette, and communication skills. Thankfully, this translated to my social life, and I use them to draw in the opportunities that my heart desires.
2022 Update: The desire to teach the same to others prompted me to get certified both as an etiquette consultant and an image and personal style consultant so that I can provide value-packed information and services to the ladies in my audience so that they become magnetic and elegantly stylish.
Discovering the Deeper Aspect of Femininity
A few months later, while visiting a friend in mid-2017, I stumbled upon the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene, It belonged to her husband, who lent it to me. He told me that the book was more about how to understand people than it was about seduction in the erotic sense of the word. This is the lens with which I read the book. I discovered a whole new world that I had not been aware of – that of understanding other people’s personalities, and how to be alluring and charming. Reading about Cleopatra, and Marilyn Monroe, and Josephine Bonaparte, and how they were able to wield their unique femininity, fascinated me so much that I naturally started exploring this aspect of my being a woman that had lay dormant without my knowing.
You see, growing up, my model of success and power was based on the patriarchal version of success – dominance, aggression, competitiveness. It was easy for me to be conditioned to develop my masculine energy while suppressing my feminine energy. Now, this worked for me until it didn’t. It was great for my academic achievements and professional life, but a woeful disaster in my relationships. The world is thirsty for feminine softness, and it took a heartbreak back in 2015, for me to start to understand that. Rediscovering my femininity was and still is a game-changer for me. And many more ladies are realizing the same, that is why I packaged all I know about femininity in my book, High-Value Feminine Woman: Rediscovering Your Femininity. It has been read in 53+ countries since I released it in August 2020. You can read the reviews and get your copy here.
Sometimes you have to see it to believe it.
In early 2019, I attended the biggest wedding I have ever attended in my life. The bride and I met at an international conference in 2012, and we became friends. We had maintained the relationship through the years (I have always been a master at networking!) and I was delighted to be at the ceremony. During the wedding ceremony, which lasted an entire week, I interacted with her friends who had flown into the country for the wedding.
She had, in 7 years, metamorphosed into the woman of her dreams – she had leveled up exponentially – and a really high-value man (no kidding!) from another culture and country was marrying her. I was impressed. It became clear to me during that week, that the only person standing between me and the life of my dreams was me. She had managed to create the life of her dreams – and so could I.
Here’s the thing, I come from a humble background, and since I had cultivated the level-up skill by multiplying whatever my parents gave me, I had learned to carved a space for myself in the world. So this new motivation was exactly what I needed. I actively started making small but significant changes – like having better standards, saying no to whatever was not serving me, asking myself what it is I really wanted. In just a few months, my life was changed.
May 2020 – The Start of Elegance Handbook
In the middle of the pandemic, I discovered that online there was an entire community of ladies who were leveling up just like me – they were also in their transformation journey to become more feminine, elegant, and high-value women. Being acutely aware of just how much work goes into the transformation, and how little information was out there when I started, I decided to share what I know. It is from this decision and my passion for writing and motivating others, that a community of 50,000+ ladies grew in less than 20 months.
The Stay at Home period/lock-down gave me the time I needed to distill my 5 years worth of transformation experience and to
- Create the Elegance Handbook Instagram Content where I share what I know so that I can help other ladies level-up faster without the trial and error I had to go through.
- I wrote Rediscovering Your Femininity to help other ladies transition faster into their feminine essence. Rediscovering Your Femininity is based on my personal experience in a male-dominated field, and how I was able to dig deep and find my feminine self/essence.
- Became a certified image and style consultant. You can take my both my How to Make Your Style Elegant Masterclass , and my How to Create a Flattering silhouette for Body Shape Masterclass here.
- Wrote another eBook to help ladies in their dating lives. That is in addition to the Level-Up Strategy Guide and the Vetting guide.
- Collaborate with 4 other brands to help ladies in terms of style, social graces, love and deportment. See the deals I managed to secure for my ladies here.
We are just at the start and I have so much more in store!
It’s a lifelong journey!
As you may have realized by now, the level up takes years and it is a lifelong journey. The spark that starts it can also be something unexpected, as it was for me that late evening in 2016. So if you have already had the spark, Elegance Handbook welcomes you with open arms. This is home for you. It’s great to have you here.